must love hummus

My sugar detox went well. I learned a lot about my eating habits and where I am overindulging. Ultimately I learned that my portion control is way off base and i’m not eating enough fruits and vegetables. The trouble with the sugar detox was that it required extensive willpower and excluded several foods that I do consider whole and vital to my diet. 

So, things change. I’m still watching my consumption and trying to eat at home pretty frequently. The biggest difference with preparing your own meals is that you have control over what (and how much) gets drizzled, poured, and mixed in. I always feel bloated and weighed down when I leave restaurants. Living in Portland I will most definitely still go out to eat from time to time. However, until I progress on some of my fitness goals the delicious thai noodles and cuban sandwiches will have to wait. 

Tonight I wanted to experiment. My boyfriend is fairly traditional with his tastes. He loves the pizza that I make, and my pizza is definitely veering towards traditional. We are on a pretty strict budget temporarily, and I knew that I could stretch pizza to make plenty of leftovers for this weeks lunches. Trader Joe’s came to the rescue as they provide very reasonably priced fresh dough in several varieties. Onward, to the tale of two pizzas. 

Griffen’s Pizza:

Regular TJ Pizza Dough ($1.29), half a jar of TJ Marinara (roughly .75), TJ Volpi Pepperoni ($3.49), 1/2 bag crimini mushrooms ($1.15), 1/2 bag quattro formaggio ($2.49). 

I prefer square pizza and the above ingredients make enough to fill a medium sized sheet pan with thin crust pizza. I’m estimating this to work out to 3 meals including dinner tonight. Total cost: a few cents over $9.00. Not amazingly cheap, but i’m definitely breaking even with the pizza guys. 

Kelsey’s Pizza:

TJ’s Whole Wheat Pizza Dough ($1.29) 2 sliced sweet apple chicken sausages ($2), 1/2 bag crimini mushrooms, chopped ($1.15), 1/2 bag quatro formaggio ($2.49), sprinkling of goat cheese ($1), 1/2 jar TJ marinara (.75), homemade arugula pesto (roughly $1). TOTAL COST:  just about $8!

Same goes for this pizza, should last me three meals. I will try to exhibit portion control and serve a small slice or two with a heaping pile of greens. Good habits take time! 

I love sugar.

More than that, i’m learning that sugar is IN EVERYTHING. I went to throw some salt & pepper pistachios in my cart, sugar. Grabbed a chicken seasoning from the spice aisle, sugar. These are little things, and sugar in small quantities, but I was surprised. Today wasn’t so bad. A quick recap of eats today…

BREAKFAST:

This was a huge fail. I woke up a little later than normal and had to rush out of the house. Last week, I was getting coffee and fast-food breakfast so this wasn’t a problem. Today I wound up just eating a small spoonful of peanut butter and a bottle of water. Big mistake, I was starving an hour later and made a big lunch when I got home.

LUNCH:

I ate lunch a little early today. Let’s call it brunch. I scrambled 4 eggs and 2 additional egg whites with leftover lean steak and shredded white cheddar. I doubled the recipe for the other half and threw some chili garlic paste on top of mine. Spicy, and delicious. This held me over for quite some time, scrambles will definitely be happening frequently. 

SNACK:

I was desperate for coffee but didn’t want to stop. I settled for pistachios and some seltzer water. BORING. 

DINNER:

Dinner will be delicious. I think. It’s in the oven. It’s a take on a mock lasagna (lasagna without the noodles). I boiled some kale, dried it out a good deal, and tossed it with lemon juice and a sprinkle of feta cheese and black pepper. I cooked down some chicken italian sausage with portabella mushrooms and garlic, combined with a jar of spicy tomato sauce. I layered those two creations like a lasagna, adding mozzarella and a sprinkling of parmesan between the layers. This will be packed up for leftovers for me at work this week. 

CRAVINGS:

I am craving weird things, but I think that’s the sugar detox. I told Griffen that all I want right now is pancakes covered in syrup. I can’t remember the last time I even ate pancakes. Weird. 

I’m going to go check on dinner. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough tonight to make a batch of mini-frittatas so I won’t have any breakfast disasters like today. Day 1, complete without a hitch. 

I looked forward to today for weeks. Finally, after months of working at least one job each day of every week I had a day that was just mine. 

Griffen had to fly to Texas for a family funeral, and I picked him up at the airport late Saturday night. It was so nice to have him back home, and I decided I don’t want to be apart like that again if we can help it. Sleep was welcomed after a long work week. 

We woke up this morning desperate for breakfast. Portland is a fantastic place for brunch but I rarely want to brave an hour wait for a really good frittata. Instead, we wound up at the Black Bear Diner for some simple scrambles followed by a trip to the outlets. 

I was  very impressed with the Beaverton Nordstrom Rack. Well organized, well stocked, and CLEAN. My only complaint was that my checking account wasn’t in agreement in the asking price on either the Northface or Betsey Johnson jackets I tried on. I need to find a warm, waterproof coat soon but today was not my day. Griffen bought an awesome Columbia jacket for just $40 and I had to resist the urge to buy the matching coat in my size. Couples dressed like twins is a little over the top, even for me. 

I’m starting up an experiment with the South Beach diet. I’m going to go at it as a quick 2 week refresh, followed by a reassessment of my food lifestyle. I will never stop enjoying food, but in terms of cost and benefit I need to ensure that I am fueling my body in a sustainable way. I’m going to try to follow it to a T for the first month or so and then I may allow wiggle room for cheat meals and the like.

I was drawn to South Beach for what I see as a well-rounded and flexible eating ideology. Veggies are allowed, fruits are allowed eventually in moderation, and I can get ample protein from lean meats and eggs. The toughest part is going to be resisting the food carts and preparing my meals in advance to stave off impulse eating. 

I’m settling in for another round of sleep after watching The Avengers with my love. Will be posting some revisions of old poems in the next day or two. I stumbled upon a portfolio from when I was 21, such a baby! 

I have been referred to as an over achiever throughout my childhood and throughout a portion of my adult life. At some point, I lost balance. I still maintained my achievement level but I lost total control of my downtime. Run down by a daunting work and school schedule, any moment that was mine was spent basking in lethargy. It was eat, sleep, repeat. Now that I find myself at the end of my academic work (for now) my routine has been thrown for a loop.

Rather than dwell on circumstance or complain about my less-than-stellar job situation, I find it best to make a list. Below is a list of things I want to do. Perhaps, if I organize my thoughts productively I can engage in a more proactive lifestyle. If anything, it’s worth a shot.

1. Write a Completed Piece

I love writing. I have two degrees in English and a solid love for literature. I respect so many writers and strive towards my own artistic development. That said, I have some bad habits. I tend to write a short story, and then stop. I’ll pick up the pen, write a few poems, and then stop. The only work I have ever truly “completed” (apart from a few creative non-fiction shorts and short stories) is my thesis. I figure, if I am able to write 76 coherent pages then I should be able to do anything. Right? Maybe. 

I am having trouble deciding. I would consider a completed piece to be a novel, an organized and thematically arranged collection of poetry, or a collection of personal essays. Because I tend to use indecision as a means of putting off any imminent action, I will write at least a page a day until I figure it out. 

2. Find an Outdoor Activity That I Love

This goes hand in hand with the weight loss goal I have set as well. College breeds a lifestyle of high mental activity partnered with too much beer and not enough running. I hate running. I want to find an activity that puts my body to work and increases my metabolism and energy level. I do enjoy biking, but I have a few errant concerns about roaming freely around a new city. There is a giant staircase not far from my house, Griffen has suggested I give that a try. And even still, I am enamored with the idea of hiking but tell myself that I just don’t have time. That said, activity is a crucial part of the aging process and the last thing that I want to do is rest on my laurels throughout my twenties and thirties. 

3. Find a Happy Place

I have struggled with weight and food for as long as I can remember. It’s the same old story. My family loves food, I love cooking, eating makes me feel good, eating is a way to celebrate, eating is a reward. All of this adds up to too much indulgence and uncertainty regarding ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods. I want to find a positive place for food in my life, and lose weight mindfully. I have read up a good deal on intuitive eating and am starting to track my intake alongside my moods and activities throughout the day. With any luck, I can begin to set up a daily routine and a more positive attitude about health and living as I approach several imminent milestones. 

This list could go on forever, but I think I will stick to three. Every Monday, I will assess my progress and share any changes or new habits I am developing. I will occasionally post some of my creative work with the understanding and trust that it will be read but not shared without my permission. 

I am enthusiastic about change and hoping to beat the downward spiral that is post-grad. Transition has always been difficult, but I am confident that the rewards will be well worth the effort.